Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
