i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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