just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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