So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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