but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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