I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize