turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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