sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
