And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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