i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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