umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
