yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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