i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize