I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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