nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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