The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
