I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
