Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
