these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
