As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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