The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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