Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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