She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
