This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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