she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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