you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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