im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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