The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize