I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
