jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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