Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
