Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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