I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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