I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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