he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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