One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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