it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
