i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?