alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize