i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize