i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
