we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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