and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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