got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
