I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
