You can't motorboat a personality
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
