his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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