Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
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i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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