I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
