All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
