You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
