If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
