I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
