Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
