I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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