I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
