I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
