That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
