I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
