after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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