She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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