thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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