Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
