Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
