Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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