Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You may now shotgun with the bride
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
