he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
