i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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